What If
by Ibble Ibble
Summary: The crazy what ifs of .hackSIGN and the game.
1. Cars

Ibble Ibble: I own a cardboard box and the air I exhale.

Bear: Well that's specific.

**What if… The mock Subaru was named Lady Toyota?**

- Scene where Subaru is nearly killed by the mock-

Subaru walks forward. The mock lowers her axe.

" My name is Lady Toyota, what's yours?" The mock asks.

" Lady Subaru." Subaru answers.

" Let's be friends because we both have the names of car companies."

" YEAH!"

The two 'Ladies' walked into Water Capital Mac Anu. Silver Knight walked towards Subaru.

" Lady Subaru and… uh…" Silver Knight started.

" Her name is Lady Toyota." Subaru said.

" Okay. Lady Subaru and Lady Toyota, Tsukasa is waiting in the gondola." Silver Knight said.

The trio walked to the gondola. Sure enough, Tsukasa was right there. The 'Ladies' sat down in the gondola. Tsukasa was sitting with his head bowed down, but he was asleep.

" Who's Tsukasa?" Toyota asks.

" A boy I am friends with because of a virus." Subaru replies.

" Is he awake?"

" Umm… I'll ask. Tsukasa, are you awake?"

No response, but Tsukasa wakes up though. He runs over to Subaru and knocks her in the water along with himself. They start sinking.

" I can't swim while carrying an axe and supporting Tsukasa." Subaru says.

" I need to learn Spanish!" Tsukasa yells.

" Use your axe to grapple onto the boat!" Toyota yells.

Subaru swings her axe forward and chops the boat in half. They sink, until Silver knight pulls them all out. Tsukasa dives at Subaru. She leaves her axe behind this time. They start swimming in the water.

" Why do you need to learn Spanish?" Subaru asks.

" This person is named Mi Casa and they started saying things in Spanish. What does my name mean in Spanish?"

" Your house!" Toyota yells.

" What does Mi Casa mean?" Tsukasa yells back.

" That means my house." Subaru answers.

" This isn't your house." Tsukasa responds.

" No, but that's what Mi Casa means." Toyota responds.

" Thank you." Tsukasa says as he gets out of the river.

Subaru got out and dried off. She stood up straight.

" I know, let's go pretend that we're cars in All-Cultural City Carmina Gadelica!" Subaru said.

" Okay! I'll add you to my party." Toyota said.

They ran over to the chaos gate. They warped to Carmina Gadelica in a rush. When they got there, they pretended that the large intersection had traffic lights. Subaru ran to the intersection. Toyota went to the grunt farm. Subaru was running in place with her hand out signaling left.

" Come on! I don't have all day! Can't you people see that I am late! HONK!" She yelled across the intersection.

Bear was walking into the intersection when he noticed Subaru yelling. He slowed down and eventually grinded to a halt. He cocked his head to the left a bit.

" Subaru!" He yelled, " What in the world are you doing?"

" I am a car for your information!" She yelled back. She turned left.

" I don't get it!"

" I am turning, thank you!"

Subaru 'passed' him and continued down. She started making engine sounds. She buzzed over to Lios at the weapon Shop.

" Vroom!" Subaru said.

" I'm sorry, but we don't sell that here." Lios replied.

" Motor Oil?"

" 2 GP."

" Thank you!" She buzzed back to the intersection.

Toyota was chasing the grunties around. She honked at any that left. A wild grunty came by. She chased it back to the Gate.

When they both got back to the Gate, they turned to each other.

" Bye, I'll see you again soon!" Toyota said before logging out.

Bear ran over to Subaru. He panted due to loss of breath.

" I … got … you … a … spot … for … online… therapy … in Highland City Dun Loireag." Bear panted.

" HONK!" Subaru said before she logged out.

" Uh…" Bear sat down.

* * *

Ibble Ibble: I will put more if asked, POLITELY! Okay it doesn't matter how you ask. 

Bear: She does have another one in store, but TRUST me on the fact that it's crazy.


	2. Mimiru and Blackrose

Ibble Ibble: See chapter one on what I own.

Tsukasa: I have a bad feeling about this…

Ibble Ibble: It's helpful if you have played the game for this one.

**What If Mimiru met Blackrose?**

Mimiru was walking around in the root town of Dun Loireag with Bear. Bear logged out. A look alike of Mimiru warped to the town. The look alike walked up to Mimiru.

" What're you lookin' at?" The look alike yelled.

" You look like me…" Mimiru began, " So what's the big deal anyway?"

" Oh, I'm Blackrose. I'm looking for Kite."

" Don't you mean 'a kite'?"

" Nope! It's another character."

" Oops, sorry. Greetings! I'm Mimiru!"

" What're you doing at the moment?"

" Waiting for Tsukasa to arrive."

" Your house?"

Tsukasa warped in to the city, and pulled on Blackrose. He didn't look at her yet.

" Let's go!" Tsukasa said.

" Where to?" Blackrose replied baffled.

" That Bitter Fantasy Mirror World place."

" HUH!"

They warped away to the upside down place. Kite warped into the town. He got his bracelet ready.

" What are you doing with your wrist?" Mimiru asked.

" Geez, I thought you would be yelling at me. We're going to Chosen Hopeless Nothingness to fight that big thing with Gardenia." Kite replied as the bracelet activated and Gardenia arrived.

" Trainer?"

They warped away to the dungeon. Mimiru looked confused.

" Did you mistake me for someone else?" Mimiru asked.

Kite smiled.

" Don't you dare smile at me!" Mimiru yelled.

" He he he." Kite giggled.

" Sick minded bracelet weirdo." Mimiru murmured.

They arrived at Skeith and Mimiru gave Kite a blank stare.

" Mister blue hair…" Mimiru said.

" Yes?" Kite replied.

" Why are we fighting what seems to be some intricate ceramic sculpture?"

" I don't know… for revenge I guess…"

Blackrose-

Blackrose wanders around completely confused as to why she was here. Tsukasa just keeps walking.

" Elk?" Blackrose asks.

" Not Elk, Tsukasa." Tsukasa replied.

" Your house?"

" No, my name."

" Not Elk?"

" Do I have antlers?"

" No, but-"

" Then I'm not Elk. You're being more annoying than usual, Mimiru."

" I'm not Mimiru."

" What?" Tsukasa turned around.

" I'm Blackrose for cryin' out loud!" She yelled.

" Then why are you here with me?"

" 'Cause you dragged me off to here with you."

" Let's go back."

" Are we in the dungeon, or field? I lost track."

" Hmm…"

Several hours later… The duo found themselves at the room with Harald. Blackrose starts to get extremely annoyed.

" You said that already!" She yelled.

" She is our, she is my…" Harald said.

" Not Elk, he sounds like a broken record." Blackrose said.

" My name is Tsukasa, not Not Elk!"

" Let's go, my ears are ringing."

Eventually they find there way out. They arrive back in Dun Loireag. Mimiru, Kite, and Gardenia arrive at the same time. Kite and Tsukasa look at Blackrose, then at Mimiru simultaneously.

" Two? I have to put up with twice as much screaming and cussing?" Kite said.

" You're not alone." Tsukasa said.

" I'm leaving." Mimiru and Blackrose say in unison before they log out.

" I think I have seen the entire world in a day…" Tsukasa says.

" Ditto." Kite said.

* * *

Ibble Ibble: I had a blockage, don't hurt me! Sorry if you guys didn't understand, but I'm barely good at speaking English… 


End file.
